Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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