C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.