he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
