One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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