SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
