So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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