Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
