Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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