i will never coherently bang her
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
