she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
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