yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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