I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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