just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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