I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sext me about skeletons
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