My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
