Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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