i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize