OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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