News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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