Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am available for nakedness
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
