You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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