What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
