you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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