i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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