The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
