there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
