Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
