Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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