I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize