Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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