During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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