i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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