Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
