She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Randomize
