Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
