you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
