the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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