Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
