i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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