They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the day after is always just damage control
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
