So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
