Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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