you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
