i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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