So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
