I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize