Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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