Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
