Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Someone came in the potted fern
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
