I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
