Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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