I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
