We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize