I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
