Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
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Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
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Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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